My new begining

Ag, its been such a weird journey these past few months. Thinking of what Im ideally wanting to do with my life in the long run, and it all seems to almost be impossible, so fun times for me. I work now at a sound and lighting company that does like everything- weddings, birthdays, concerts. We sell equipment from the US and we rent it to the public for their functions along with a dj.

Hopefully I will be able to learn more about the music industry working here. In terms of microphones, and sound etc, so when im singing one day I can say, hmm I dont like that mic, may I have a different one please. Now I sing with the sing star mics and think its good. I know one day I should get into the music industry its just very difficult unless you actually have money- which is something I find scarce these days, very scarce. Putting petrol in my car is a gift to myself, as was the battery for my car i had to get two days ago. Over one k I paid for a car battery, I mean really, I could have bought other luxaries such as, soap and face wash. Its going to be difficult to live pretty soon, with all the prices going up. But I am just another person going through it, at least I know Im not alone.

I recieved a text today for a request casting for a magazine in Dubai, and im just praying I get this one, come on. Why do I not have the right look for these people, I mean will I ever have the right look for them, or am I just with an agency to be able to say, I'm a model. Jokes, I dont really ever do that, unless I absolutely have to. Model world is not glamour worls, not everyone is a size 6, but majority are and they are the height of giraffes, which helps my 1.65cm jack shit. Its a struggle being short, because you automatically look bigger than the rest- NOT ON!!!!!

Anyways Im trying to get the mentality of not caring, although its harder than it seems, I'll have you know. Theres only a certain amount of not caring I can do, until you see people pointing laughing, or hand over their mouths looking at you- eventually my not give a shit what you think turns into an obsessive, what are you thinking about me- seriously what is it??

Why do majority girls (including myself) dislike or look funny at other girls, doesnt make much sense, but it seems to be a sort of human nature.

Oh well, back to answering phones for me it is, and until furthur notice...
Be awesome,

AbiD